Saturday, February 7, 2009

I've Got Some 'Splaining To Do

I have not meant to go so long between posts. I am still alive, and I appreciate everyone who has been checking in with me from time to time. I regret that I don't have sexier things to post about, but I figure I ought to post an update so you'll all understand what has been going on with me.

Regarding my previous post regarding bipolar disorder - there is a good chance that the diagnosis is wrong. The psychiatrist who I saw has turned out to be spectacularly unprofessional, to the point that Red and I are having to file a complaint against him with the medical licensing board. I'd go into further detail, but it is really an appalling situation and it really isn't the purpose of this blog to provide a platform for me to vent about incompetent doctors.

Red and I have been in a kind of holding pattern. He is still ill, and lately I have been having some alarming symptoms of illness and have been undergoing a number of tests myself. I am ok - it is unlikely that what is going on is life-threatening, but there is a serious possibility that my issues with depression have been caused by hormonal imbalances that are now causing some cardiac symptoms as well. I wish I could explain more, and hope to soon, but right now I simply don't know enough. I'm supposed to see my primary care physician in the coming week to talk about some results of the tests that I've recently undergone.

Do Red and I still have a discipline relationship? I suppose so, but currently all we can manage are the occasional swat delivered in passing. Our focus has simply shifted to survival issues.

Where does that leave this blog? I never intended for it stagnate the way I've allowed it to in the recent past. My desire to reach out has been hampered (with respects to this blog) by my desire to not allow the scope of this blog to shift too drastically away from my discipline relationship, the reality that right now Red and I have been unable to actually practice discipline within our relationship, and my need to maintain a reasonable degree of anonymity on this blog. In other words, there hasn't been much spanking to talk about around here lately, and I don't want to bore you all with the mundane and all-too-specific and personal details of our RL situation.

That's all the news that is fit to print for now. Again, thank you to those who have expressed concern. I fully intend to continue this blog, and I hope that my readers will continue to check in on me from time to time.


Anonymous said...

Rose, I am so glad to hear from you and so sorry about your troubles! The body and mind are so intricately intertwined (imagine that!) so it sounds just right that you are looking at all angles. I do hope this is all resolved soon, and that good health is quickly restored! Hang in there, and give us a shout whenever you can! My best, Sara

Hermione said...


Your first priority has to be your health. Blog when you can; we'll still be here.

Take very good care of yourself and keep thinking positive thoughts.


Jigsaw Analogy said...

I'm sorry that things are difficult right now. Illness truly sucks, and I totally get how sometimes, life gets focused on survival rather than anything else.

It's more important, in my opinion, to take care of yourself than to post all kinds of stuff to your blog. If there are things you want to write about, though, I personally don't mind when things wander away from the stated topic. But then, I look at my own blogs more as a reflection of who I am, with different focal points (my more mental health related blog, my more kink related blog, my blog that people who know me in real life have access to....). Sometimes, I choose which one to post to a little randomly, other times, the difference is clear.

And you've got a feed on this blog, which means that people can get an alert when you update, so it's not like we won't notice. :)

I hope that the health things can get resolved, and I'm glad that you're not having to continue to deal with an unprofessional "professional."