I know what you're thinking. "DUH," if you're a bottom, and if you're a top, the ever-annoying "Spankings are supposed to hurt." Grr.
I know that they hurt, and that they are supposed to hurt. But lately spankings really hurt, if you know what I mean.
I haven't had many, which is probably a large part of the problem. I know my bottom has basically become virgin again. But spankings now actually hurt worse than when my bottom was virgin for real. Handspankings leave me gasping, and even if they are brief they leave me with at least a little lasting soreness.
Red has given me a couple handspankings, and one evening about a week ago, he ordered me to pull down my pajama bottoms and panties for a spanking. I was less than thrilled by the prospect. He was digging around in our toy box and emerged with a London Tanners strap that I had mercifully forgotten that we owned.
I didn't want the spanking. I wasn't afraid of it. He'd made it clear that it wasn't punishment and I wasn't in trouble. But I knew it would hurt and not in any kind of good way. But I also wasn't going to argue with him. I agreed to submit to spankings whenever he decided they were necessary. So I stood up and began to lower my pants.
But then he stopped me. He could see the truth in my face - that I didn't, really didn't, want the spanking.
I apologized to him, which he insisted was unnecessary. I don't know if it is hormones, or stress, or what, but spankings don't feel the same to me right now.
I want spankings. At least, I want to want them.
I don't know what is going on with me right now.