Monday, July 21, 2008

Spankings Hurt

I know what you're thinking. "DUH," if you're a bottom, and if you're a top, the ever-annoying "Spankings are supposed to hurt." Grr.

I know that they hurt, and that they are supposed to hurt. But lately spankings really hurt, if you know what I mean.

I haven't had many, which is probably a large part of the problem. I know my bottom has basically become virgin again. But spankings now actually hurt worse than when my bottom was virgin for real. Handspankings leave me gasping, and even if they are brief they leave me with at least a little lasting soreness.

Red has given me a couple handspankings, and one evening about a week ago, he ordered me to pull down my pajama bottoms and panties for a spanking. I was less than thrilled by the prospect. He was digging around in our toy box and emerged with a London Tanners strap that I had mercifully forgotten that we owned.

I didn't want the spanking. I wasn't afraid of it. He'd made it clear that it wasn't punishment and I wasn't in trouble. But I knew it would hurt and not in any kind of good way. But I also wasn't going to argue with him. I agreed to submit to spankings whenever he decided they were necessary. So I stood up and began to lower my pants.

But then he stopped me. He could see the truth in my face - that I didn't, really didn't, want the spanking.

I apologized to him, which he insisted was unnecessary. I don't know if it is hormones, or stress, or what, but spankings don't feel the same to me right now.

I want spankings. At least, I want to want them.

I don't know what is going on with me right now.


Anonymous said...

Only suggestion I can think of is...try not to overanalyze. This too shall pass!

Serenity Everton said...

Bonnie (My Bottom Smarts) actually addressed this question in her Sunday brunch question this week. She summed up the responses with this:

"Bonnie: I agree with most of these observations. Here are eight factors that seem to make me more sensitive: (a) spanked too recently, (b) not spanked for a while, (c) not fully aroused, (d) not well warmed up, (e) various hormonal issues, (f) fresh from a warm shower, (g) caught by surprise, and (h) distracted by other concerns."

Stress, hormones, and exhaustion are all killers for spanking tolerance, in my personal experience. You shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting or being able to accept spankings in the short term - just like your sex drive changes, so does your spanking drive.

On the other hand, it could be indicative of a bigger problem that is either not being addressed or hasn't yet been resolved.


Natty said...

Totally agree with sparkle. Spanking mojo comes and goes -- something that's very normal and very reasonable. And even when there are larger issues (I had to take a months-long hiatus from spanking altogether when I struggled with my inner feminist a couple of years ago), it's totally cool to take a break and work through those issues. Women are not obligated to have sex whenever their husbands want it and neither are they obligated to get spanked (or be spanked -- it works both ways) whenever the other half is in the mood.

But I know it can be awfully disconcerting when you've fantasized about spanking for so much of your life to have the mojo suddenly not be there. Crikey! ;-)

Good luck, dear. :::hugs:::

Jigsaw Analogy said...

Isn't it annoying when our bodies and minds aren't on the same page? Although for me, it's just as often that my mind and my other mind aren't on the same page... but it comes to the same thing.

It's probably also frustrating when it's been a while, and Red is finally back to spanking, and now you aren't up for it... I hope you're able to work out something that will get both of your mojo in sync.

Marie said...

Glad I read this, even if the post is a few years old. My spanking MoJo has left. Dh felt I needed a good hard spanking for attitude and suggested it all week. He won't force me. I decided to submit to it, since I couldn't take him hinting anymore. I hadn't been spanked in a few months and I was shocked at the pain. I couldn't stand the spanking and it didn't turn me on at all. Which is weird, because usually a good old fashioned otk bare bottom spanking turns me on. This one had me never wanting another spanking ever again. I fussed and tried to get out of it many times. Dh would have none of it and pinned my arms behind my back and spanked on. No getting out of the tanning he wanted to dish out on my backside for my bad attitude. I'll be leaving my attitude at the door for a while.